Three days ago, SN started telling me about her trip, but then she left me hanging. I thought of her sisters obsession with sex, and how troubling that must be for her. I imagined what might have happened after their father walked in on them. Mostly, Susans words echoed in my head, I knew I wanted it, I was picturing a dick going inside me. Would it be me, I wondered, I imagined, I hoped and even dreamed it would be. That day in her backyard, was the day everything changed between us, at least for me. I had looked into Susans eyes, and seen all the way into her heart. I think I made a connection with her beyond just lust, but at fourteen, did I really know that? What was love, did I know, how could I, my emotions had been clouded by my lust. My parents were right, once you had sex, everything was different. They told me about this, I hate it when they are right. With all my thinking, dreaming, even obsessing about Susan, I had only managed to steel a few quick, but passionate. Brain damage, liver damage. It all adds up. Everyone copes with life in a different way.’ She patted her leg reassuringly. ‘I hike. Get outdoors, see nature.’ ‘What does Lee do?’ Gen was silent for a long time before getting up. ‘Come on, we’re finished here.’ ‘That man was a zombie, he didn’t even care.’ Leslie stated, carefully inching her way back to a standing position. ‘Nope. Many people don’t care when they get that far.’ Gen responded, carefully walking back towards the main hall. Leslie pondered that as she trailed behind. ** Exhaustion. That’s what Leslie felt as she dragged her feet back into her room. Fortunately, everyone gave her a wide berth as she came back from the cafeteria. Still no one wanted to be near her. That didn’t bother her, she really didn’t want to face anyone. Aimlessly, she turned on the TV before heading into the bathroom. She really needed to shower or something. It was like everything felt grimy. After what she saw today, she also needed to.
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